ARE YOU A SURVIVOR OF DOMESTIC ABUSE? Do you feel like being a survivor defines you?

So, you made it through your abusive relationship, which by the way can be verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Now you want to start your new life but you feel like you are wearing the scarlet letter on your chest indicating that you are damaged goods. You feel less than worthy of ever having good relationships with anyone. Your self-esteem is low or nonexistent.

If you have been following my blogs, you know that I am a firm believer that what you think about, you bring about. The best news is that you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions to get the results you want to have. If you are a survivor, you will understand the power of being in control of your OWN thoughts and feelings. Being with a partner that has had complete power and control over your every move, thought and action is exhausting and terrifying to be honest.

Now finally you can break free (if you haven’t already) from controlling thoughts and actions and be in control of your own life. How do we do it? Let’s start with what really defines you. Think back to when you had dreams and ideas of how you wanted your future to play out. Remember when you would delight in happy thoughts of a wonderful relationship, a beautiful home, a fulfilling career. That is what defines you, not your current circumstance. This is where the coaching model comes into play.

Your circumstance is:

C= the abusive relationship

Your thought about that is:

T= I am damaged goods. I am not worthy. I can’t do any better than this.

Your feelings are:

F= Sadness, defeated, bewildered.

Your actions are:

A= You take no action because you don’t feel as though anyone will take you seriously. You look for low paying jobs to suit how you feel about yourself. You are not looking for a home because that is an unattainable dream for you.

Your result will be:

R= An unhappy, unfulfilled outlook on life. You won’t be satisfied with your relationships or your life choices.

The good news is that you have the power to turn it all around.

Let’s think a new thought. Now, your circumstance is the same, “the abusive relationship” …

but your thought about it can change to something like this:

T= I am stronger because of what I had to endure. I will never go back to that kind of lifestyle. I can see the red flags that will prevent me from choosing that same kind of relationship and truly find the kind of person I want to share my life with.

F= I feel empowered now that I have made it through the worst time of my life. I am stronger now. I can be of service to other survivors that may need my help. I have no chains stopping me now from making progress.

A= I will now start looking for jobs that will give me the kind of income I deserve. I will share my knowledge with others and possibly find a job that will encompass what I know. I will look for a partner that will be sensitive to my current situation and not one that will use my past against me.

R= My results will reflect my new outlook on life and I will be happier and stronger and able to achieve my goals.

Does this sound like you? Would you like to get started now rather than later? Contact me for your free mini session at: http://kmessinalifecoach.wix.com/mysite